Dear North of England
Dear North of England,I hope you are keeping well and starting to overcome your medical issues. I hope the dehydration is on the mend. Central Japan sends it's love.
I am writing to say thanks for the other month, when I came back to visit and brought my girlfriend over with her sister to see what it was all about. They both had a great time and said they would come back again. If you could pass on my particular thatnks to all the various pubs and drinking establishments we visited, that would be nice. The value of your pubs was not lost on them.
I would like to say a special round of thanks to all the yobs, teenagers, bigots, racists, sexists, fuckwits, con-artists and police. It would not have been the same without their contribution. They stayed out of sight admirably. Only one slipped through the net, a "can I borrow 7p?" artist in the centre of Manchester, and he was dispatched without bloodshed or heated words.
A special series of thanks to the busses, trains, taxis and aeroplanes, all of which turned up, and what's more, on time. I would like to thank the planets for aligning to make this happen for the week, uninterupted. If, as I suspect, this never happens again, it will have been enough.
Yours sincerely,
Under The Radar
posted by Between daisies @ 10:46
4 Comments:
So, how many virgins had to be sacrificed for living in such a paradise?
north england is cool. Are the buses on time in Japan?
Dear Mr Radar
Ee by gum, ecky thump and all that.
I cannot take all the credit for this most unusual occurance. Most of the henchmen you speak of were tied up on the border - rucking with those southern fairies.
They have all returned to their homeland now and the bigotry and insolence continues unabated. But thanks for the letter. I will send you a free Black Pudding.
Yours Sincerely
The North
Andy - No virgins in manchester... They are all of enjoying the regional hobby of teenage pregnancy... I am critical but I do like it where I'm from more or less. I shed a little tear as I left this time.
Big Ben - I assume so, though I make it a policy never to use busses if I can avoid it. The schoolchild / old people quotient tends to be quite high. Don't get me wrong. I don't dislike these people it is just that they tend to have there own agendas which don't match with mine.
UTMG - I am waiting for that black pudding. I fed one to M and her sister while they were over. Feed, explain, offer more. It was a sweet revenge for past infringements, particularly the pigs feet.
BTW, i assume we won?
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